Better Than Me (A Remington Medical Contemporary Romance) Read online

  Tess waved her hand in a gimme motion. “Oh, my God, woman. I have cobwebs in my pants! Details. I need details!”

  “There’s not a whole lot to tell other than that. We were talking, one thing led to another and we kissed, but we got interrupted. Then he kind of pulled back.”

  Both women groaned on her behalf. “There’s nothing like coitus interruptus,” Tess said, a rare flush moving over her cheeks as she added, “Or maybe just interruptus. Sorry.”

  “Honestly, I don’t really know that it wouldn’t have gotten there if we hadn’t been interrupted. It was that hot,” Natalie said.

  “But now Jonah’s acting like it didn’t happen? Like a friend zone kind of thing?” Charlie asked, and Natalie shook her head. She’d given this a shit-ton of thought over the past couple of days. She knew Jonah. Could read his facial expressions from a nautical mile away. His body language, too. There was no denying that what he said he wanted and what she saw beneath the surface didn’t add up.

  He was feeling something about what had happened between them, and whatever it was, he was going to great lengths to hide it.

  “See, that’s just it. I don’t think Jonah wants me in the friend zone. I think he’s attracted to me, too,” she said. “I mean, he’s trying to act like business as usual. But there’s this heat between us now that was never there before. He looks at me just a beat longer than he used to, even a couple of weeks ago. If we touch by accident, like the other day when we both reached for the coffeepot at the same time and our hands bumped? He lets out this breath like he’s trying to fight the same attraction I feel. You couldn’t cut the sexual tension in his apartment with a hacksaw, and I’m telling you, that kiss was…”

  “Dreamy,” Charlie murmured.

  “Steamy,” Tess murmured.

  “Like a promise,” Natalie said, making her friends give up twin happy-sighs. “And even though he’s trying to be all status quo with me now, there’s no way he didn’t feel it, too.”

  Charlie reached for the bottle of wine and topped off everyone’s glasses, her head tilted in thought. “Jonah might have a hell of a reputation for being a serial bachelor, but he’s also a good guy.”

  “That’s true,” Tess mused. “Even if he’s into you—and it sounds like he totally is—if he thinks it would wreck your friendship to screw around, I bet he’d try to fight it.”

  Oh. Natalie had to admit, it made sense. Sort of. “Okay, but I haven’t made any secret about the fact that I’ve been wanting to, um…”

  “Find someone to punch your V-card?” Tess volunteered, and both Natalie and Charlie laughed.

  Charlie chided, “Tess.”

  “Fine.” Tess took a sip of wine and waggled her brows at Natalie. “Tend to your lady garden.”

  “Have sex with,” Charlie said.

  “Yes,” Natalie told them both. “I mean, I got Mallory’s brother’s number and everything.” Not that she’d used it, or that he’d texted her, either. “It seems pretty obvious that I want to get it on with somebody.”

  Tess shook her head. “You said you wanted to date, though. That’s very different than casual sex, especially to a guy like Jonah.”

  Natalie opened her mouth. Closed it. Then opened it again to utter a very eloquent, “Fuck.”

  Charlie giggled. “If that’s your goal, then I think Tess is right. You’re probably going to have to be straight with him. But if you’re both attracted to each other and you’re both honest about your expectations, and all you want is casual sex…”

  “Then there’s no reason not to get any,” Tess finished. “Or at least give it a shot.”

  Natalie’s heart beat faster at the thought, then faster still as she realized they were right. She and Jonah had always been honest with each other. It was a huge part of what made their friendship work so well, and an even huger part of why she genuinely liked him.

  She did trust him. She did want to have sex with him. She knew she wasn’t imagining all the signs that he wanted her, too.

  Putting everything out on the table made sense.

  “Okay,” Natalie said slowly. “So, let’s just say that, hypothetically, I tell him all of this and he’s on board. Then what?”

  “Like, logistically?” Charlie asked, and Natalie gave up a semi-hesitant nod.

  “I’m not horribly inexperienced, and obviously, I know what’ll happen in the anatomical sense.” She’d delivered more babies by emergency C-section than she could even count, for cripes’ sake. She knew darned well how each and every one of them had gotten in there, even if she’d had to take them out. “But there is the Orgasm Whisperer thing, and I’m not exactly brimming with firsthand knowledge, here. I don’t want to look like a complete idiot. So, hit me. What do I need to know?”

  Tess’s snort was all irony. “You might not want to ask me. I have far too many weeds in my lady garden to be giving out decent advice.”

  “Okay, but at least you’ve had sex. Which means you have a whole lot more to go on than I do,” Natalie pointed out. “So, really. Help me out.”

  “Condoms,” they both said simultaneously, and Natalie nodded.

  “Given.” She’d at least gotten that far, having swiped a few from the clinic across from the hospital, where she volunteered a few times a month. “For Jonah, too, I’d imagine.”

  “I think the most important thing other than that is to try to relax and let things happen naturally,” Charlie offered. “You’re into him, he’s into you. Unless you accidentally knee him in the hey-nannies or something, you’re not going to screw it up.”

  Natalie swallowed hard. She thought she’d be worried enough about her vagina. Now she had to worry about her knees accidentally connecting with Jonah’s balls, too?

  “You could always try reading one of Connor’s romance novels for a few tips,” Tess said, and Charlie brightened.

  “I have a new one in my room! Hang on.”

  Okay, so this wasn’t a bad idea. Natalie did enjoy romance novels, and it had been a while since she’d been able to sit down with a pleasure-read.

  “Here you go,” Charlie said a few seconds later, handing over a book with a photo of a very ripped, very tattooed shirtless guy on the cover.

  “Holy crap. Is this guy even for real?” Natalie let her eyes take an appreciative second trip over the front of the book.

  Tess grinned. “Who, Muscles Marinara? Apparently, he’s very real. He and Connor are, like, best friends. They were in the Air Force together.”

  “Wow.” The guy might not be Natalie’s usual cuppa, but he was definitely cover-worthy.

  “Right?” Charlie said. “Anyway, all the good scenes are dog-eared. I’m pretty sure you’d have to be a professional gymnast to do the thing in Chapter Eighteen. I mean, the heroine in the book is a professional gymnast, so there’s that, but…anyway, all I’m saying is maybe don’t start out there.”

  “But the Chapter Seven thing is hot,” Tess said, prompting Charlie to nod.

  “And the Chapter Thirteen thing? Works like a charm.”

  “You dirty bitch!” Tess laughed. “You did the Chapter Thirteen thing?”

  Charlie gave up an angelic smile. “Twice.”

  Natalie couldn’t help it. She opened the book. Found Chapter Thirteen. And… “Whoa. I will never look at Drake the same way again.”

  As if she could sense the layer of hesitation beneath Natalie’s joke, Charlie took the book and put it on the island. “Natalie, look. You don’t have to use the book, or anything else, as a checklist. Having a great experience in bed with someone is all about doing what feels good for the two of you. You know yourself, and you trust Jonah. He’ll have your back.”

  “And your front,” Tess said with an encouraging smile. “As far as finding the right person to take your virginity, I don’t think you could do any better.”

  “Really,” Charlie agreed. “Don’t worry about anything other than that.”

  Natalie nodded. “Okay.”

&n
bsp; Although she knew Charlie and Tess were right, and she also had no reservations about what she wanted, she also knew it was going to be tough not to worry at all. The Chapter Thirteen thing seemed a little over-zealous, and now she was going to be overly cautious about keeping her knees far, far away from Jonah’s anatomy. Plus, now there was this Orgasm Whisperer thing to contend with. Jonah had a metric ton of experience, and she had a whopping none.

  But their kiss had worked out just fine on its own (okay, if by fine, she really meant warning-label hot). The rest would probably happen the same way.

  Now, all Natalie had to do was ask him to take her virginity.

  12

  Natalie stared at the door to her/Jonah’s apartment and damn near balked. The courage from her one and only glass of wine had long since evaporated, even though the rest of her evening with Tess and Charlie (during which they’d both repeatedly assured her they’d never once knocked a potential bedmate out of commission by accidentally kneeing him in the nuts) had actually been fun and relaxing. But now that she was home, her pulse kicked a rapid rhythm against her throat.

  No. No. She couldn’t walk away. She’d made up her mind. She wanted this. She wanted Jonah. It was now or never.

  And never wasn’t an option.

  Taking a deep breath, Natalie put her key in the lock and made her way inside the apartment. The sight of Jonah sprawled on the couch, casually watching a basketball game, did nothing to calm her racing heart, and the way his T-shirt hugged his lean, well-defined muscles with just enough suggestion for her to picture them sans cotton did everything to make the space between her legs turn hot and damp.

  “Hey,” he said, reaching for the remote and muting the TV. “I didn’t think you’d be home so early.”

  Natalie slid out of her jacket and rummaged for a smile, semi-surprised when it came easily. “Yeah. Tess had the baby with her, so she had to get moving to get him to bed, and I wanted to give Parker and Charlie at least some of their Friday night together, so here I am.”

  “You want to watch some hoops? There are leftover wings in the fridge,” Jonah offered, pushing up to standing. Oh, God, he was in jeans and barefoot? How much freaking sexier could one man be?

  It’s just Jonah. You can do this.

  She sent another deep breath down the hatch. “Actually, I was hoping to talk to you about something. But you have to promise to hear me out.”

  “I’m not budging on those rom coms, Kendrick. I mean it,” he said, giving her a smile that said he really didn’t.

  Natalie’s nerves released another ounce of their grip on her as she smiled back. “A) you’re giving rom coms a bad rap. And secondly, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  “Okay. Shoot. What’s up?”

  Her heartbeat pressed against her ears, but still, she said, “It’s about what happened last Friday night. When we kissed.”

  Jonah froze to his spot beside the couch, his easygoing expression turning instantly serious. “Nat, I’m so sorry. I know I already said it, but I was way, way out of line, and—”

  “No, Jonah. You really weren’t.”

  His blond brows traveled up. “What?”

  “You weren’t out of line.” Natalie stepped toward him, the truth taking precedence over the last of her butterflies. “We’re two single, consenting adults. You kissed me, and I kissed you back, and it was…well, it was a really good kiss.”

  “It was,” Jonah agreed slowly, and Natalie continued before her newfound calm could have a chance to recede.

  “Which brings me to what I wanted to talk to you about. You and I are close, and we’re obviously”—hot together. So. Very. Hot together—“physically compatible,” she managed past her blush. “I’m really comfortable with you, and just as importantly, I trust you.”

  Now or never, came the whisper from her brain as she paused for a breath. But oh, Natalie didn’t just want him.

  She wanted him now, so she said, “You’re kind of everything I’ve been looking for when it comes to losing my virginity, so I was hoping that you might consider having sex with me.”

  JONAH WAS as stunned speechless by the question Natalie had just asked him as he was the internal fucking-A, YES! that had just taken the slingshot route from his cock to his brain. He took a second—or maybe it was a year—to try and displace some of his shock, but yeah, no. Just not happening.

  “You want me to take your virginity,” he finally said, and she nodded, her cheeks flushed to a perfect, pretty pink that didn’t help his resolve.

  “Yes. I do.”

  Despite her blush, she seemed completely unequivocal, her answer clear and concise. But this was her first time they were talking about. There would never be another one.

  “I’ve never done that before,” Jonah said. “Not even when I was a virgin.” Even in high school, his girlfriends had always been older, and more experienced.

  “Okay, so it would be something new for both of us,” Natalie said, her bright-side enthusiasm tempting him to smile.

  He could not be considering this. “It’s not even close to the same thing.”

  “Okay, maybe it’s not,” Natalie agreed. “But I’ve given this a lot of thought, and I meant what I said last week. I don’t need a whole bunch of hearts and flowers in order to have sex with someone, even for the first time. But I do want to do it with someone I trust, and I’m ready. God, it’s why I told Mallory I’d meet his brother in the first place.”

  A feeling Jonah couldn’t describe and didn’t quite recognize snapped through his chest. “You want to have sex with Mallory’s brother?”

  Her laughter shocked the hell out of him, and damn, she was beautiful. “No, dummy. I want to have sex with you. My point is, I’m looking for someone who I like and trust, not some random stranger. I’m curious, and ready, and for the love of God, I’ve been a virgin forever. I’m ready to not be one anymore, and I want to not be one with you.”

  Jonah opened his mouth to argue that he wasn’t the right guy for the job, but somehow, he couldn’t. He thought of Mallory’s brother—sure, Mallory was a decent guy, a little bit cocky, maybe, but then again, that was probably a pot/kettle situation, coming from Jonah. The guy’s brother was probably cool enough, and probably the kind of man Natalie should be propositioning with this sort of thing. One who she at least had a shot of ending up with, happily ever after, like she eventually wanted.

  But the thought of her giving up her virginity to Mallory’s brother made Jonah want to slice the guy’s nuts off with a ten blade. Which was honestly insane, since he’d never even clapped eyes on him. But as irrational as the emotion was, Jonah recognized it as jealousy, and he knew it could only stem from one thing.

  He wanted to have sex with Natalie. He’d wanted her the night her bathtub had caved in, although he hadn’t been able to admit it. He’d wanted her when they’d kissed, and he wanted her now. He wanted to know what other parts of her flushed when she was aroused, and what the spot between her neck and her shoulder tasted like. He wanted to know what she sounded like the second she was done coming, and he wanted to be the one who got her there. In fact, he’d never wanted anyone so much.

  And he was tired of trying to fight it.

  “Okay,” Jonah said.

  “Okay,” Natalie repeated. “As in, yes?”

  She looked at him, her gold-blond lashes fanned upward in surprise. But then she smiled a big, beautiful, wide-open smile of happiness, and okay, yeah, Jonah was going to need to get a handle on this, quick.

  “I have a couple of conditions, though,” he said, and her forehead creased in confusion.

  “I already told you, I don’t expect a relationship or anything. I just want—”

  Jonah shook his head. “I know what you want, but if you want me to give it to you, I’m going to do it right.”

  “Okay.” She drew the word out like a question, and he didn’t hesitate to answer it.

  “First, let’s get the obvious out o
f the way. If you change your mind at any point—”

  Now it was her turn to cut him off. “I won’t.”

  “If you do, you need to tell me,” he insisted. “No matter what.”

  Her frown became that sweetly fierce thing that he found so fucking appealing, it was damn near unfair. “Do you really think I’d have propositioned you if I didn’t want to have sex with you? It’s not like I haven’t thought this through.”

  “Promise me, Nat. Or we’re not even having a conversation, let alone sex.”

  “Okay, okay. I promise. If I change my mind, I’ll tell you.”

  Her tone labeled the words as genuine, but it was really just an added bonus. Jonah knew she’d never lie about something this big.

  “Good,” he said. “Next, we should talk about birth control.” Not the sexiest topic, he knew, but also not one he was leaving up in the air. Or, worse yet, for the heat of the moment, when his upstairs head would want to show far less restraint than the situation required.

  Apparently, Natalie wasn’t leaving it to chance, either. “Oh, no, we’re good. I have condoms. Just because I’m not sure if I can get pregnant doesn’t mean I want to go testing the theory.”

  “That makes two of us.” Jonah paused. This last one was the biggest of his three deal-breakers, and even though they’d already touched on it, he needed to be one hundred-percent sure she understood.

  “This has to be completely casual,” he continued. “No promises, no commitments, like you said. It has nothing to do with you. I’m just not a long-haul guy. So, if you think us having sex would ruin our friendship or get weird for you, I need to know that, Natalie.”

  His heartbeat sounded off like thunder in his ears. Jonah knew that sleeping with her wouldn’t mess with things on his end. In fact, it would probably solve a thing or two by getting the unexpected attraction he’d been feeling for the last two weeks out of his system, once and for freaking all. But if having sex with her would unravel their friendship—or, hell, make her want more than their friendship—he couldn’t say yes. No matter how badly he wanted to.